The Closing Circle Questions

The truth is, we all love talking about ourselves. And while the ever-popular trope of kids shutting down and wanting to share less and less may be intimidating as a parent, setting aside specific time at the end of each day to connect and share can be a beautiful way to learn more about them. 

Taking a few moments, fifteen minutes or half an hour to put down all electronic devices and share tidbits about the day can bring a family closer together. At Urban Roots, we do this at the end of each day with our students. After a day full of stimulus and play and creativity and social interactions, we find the last half hour of our time together spent sitting in a circle and sharing.  

While these questions may not have anything to do with the contents of the day, they serve as a way for young minds to process and share in a structured way. In fact, not only do we do this during our camps and farm-school time, but Urban Roots employees also do the same thing at the end of each of their meetings to help close the space and connect to each other's needs and experiences. 

Some of my favorite moments have come from these closing circle questions as my students share outlandish stories, sweet moments of their day and/or beautifully insightful thoughts on aspects of the group that I missed or was unable to experience as an educator.  

During one week with Team Grape (our older homeschoolers), we spent each closing circle rehashing the developments that had occurred in their fantastical world of magic and monsters that played itself out on the playground during recess time. Each student explained their character’s lore and the relationship they had with each other students’ character. Down to their emotional traits and proclivities, a story unfolded that I would have had no knowledge of had I not asked them what their favorite part of the day was.  

Another day with Team Carrot (our younger homeschoolers), we enacted dreams that we had most recently. Stories of sea serpents, best friends, and anxieties came up. The students giggled as they shared a part of their reality that normally is never broached upon. Many of them realized they shared similar dreams and were in awe that their internal processing was something that they could connect on and share with their peers.  

Getting curious and holding space for these kinds of connections is of utmost importance these days. In a reality that prioritizes virtual connection, having a few minutes a day to connect with a real person, share tangible vulnerability and feel held in a safe container can make a world of difference for the young people of your life.  

So, take a moment, maybe just one day a week to start, put away all digital distractions after dinner, sit around the table, in the living room or on the back patio. Come up with one question, as a group or rotate the role of question asker, and all take a few moments to answer the question. Make sure that this question is open ended, not one that can be answered with a “yes” or “no”.  

Before beginning, agree to avoid using “Pizza Words”, this is a playful way to minimize the use of any word you could use to describe a pizza i.e. good, bad, okay, etc. Set the expectation that you can pass if you are not ready to answer quite yet but each person participating will have to answer the question by the end of the evening. Lean in, show your children some vulnerability. Share something you didn’t expect to share with them. Show them support in their sharing and gratitude for their participation. Young minds have so much to share, all it takes is a question.  

Below are a few questions we have loved asking on the farm!  

1. Did you meet anyone new today or this week that excited you? What was exciting about this new person? 

2. What was one thing that made today special? 

3. Did anyone make you laugh today? Who was it and how did they make you laugh? 

4. When did you feel the most relaxed and present today? 

5. Where was the most beautiful spot you got to go to today or this week? 

6. How has your heart, head and body felt this week?  

7. Is there anything you’ve wanted to share with someone that you just haven’t had the opportunity to yet? 

8. What was a moment of creative inspiration you had this week and have you done anything to pursue it?

Do you have any questions that you came up with in your own closing circles? Let us know!